Sunday, 29 May 2011

Lost in Communication

This is completely unrelated to communicating geoscience, but it does deal with communication.

For the past two years a couple of housemates and myself have been keeping track of stupid things said by a final and two second year (science) students at a British University. Below are a selection of them for your enjoyment:

From Nikki (3rd year Sociology Student)

‘Does it really freak you out sometimes when you fall asleep?’

‘I want a proper big fur coat, like a dead polar bear’

‘You know percent, is it out of a hundred?’

‘You know those people who study chemistry what are they called?’

‘These brownies taste of kitchen’

‘You walk to the top of road turn left, then turn right’       “I can’t picture it”

‘Amy, are you still getting them fatty bits in your teas?

After watching Avatar ‘so they are on another planet’; that makes so much more sense’

Q: ‘So on Guernsey where do you get your drinking water from?’ A:’We’re surrounded by sea’

‘I’m more worried about the fat under my skin’

When Nikki was taking her CATs test her mother brought her a book on cats (feline)

‘Skydiving? What was it like? Like falling?’

While discussing travellers ‘I couldn’t be a gypsy living in a caravan because I don’t like packing suitcases.’

On discussing leap years ‘Oh, It’s a leap year this year – that’s good, I need more time’

Joe: ‘I want to go to Oktoberfest’           Nikki: ‘Is Oktoberfest a real thing?’

‘You exaggerate things by like a million, billion times’

‘I don’t want to watch it, I hate war films, I hate cowboys’

‘Who was Napoleon?’

‘I don’t eat bread, just rolls and toast’

‘Are mongoose real?’

‘That was well hard that where’s Wally?

‘What’s a Sea Snake?’

‘I’ve only drowned once, but I didn’t like it’

‘Abseiling, I thought that was something to do with boats’

‘What’s a manger [Mangeer]?’

When watching a Band of Brothers ‘Where are they fighting – is it Afghanistan?’

‘I was going to buy a poppy, but I didn’t know how to put it on’

‘Do you ever feel you need to re-arrange your face?’

‘She’s got a face like a slapped lemon’

‘Do people really live in the rainforest?’

‘Bananas give your brain energy and make you smart, that’s why monkeys are so clever 
because they eat them all the time’

‘Right, I’m really confused now, Dinosaurs were after Jesus’

Q: ‘Who were the Pilgrim Fathers?’ A: ‘A type of cheese?’

‘Wait. So dinosaurs were before Jesus?’

‘No! Jesus must have been before the dinosaurs because he made them!’

‘What? I thought Spinal Tap were a real band?’

‘They only put it in there to smite me’

‘The Romans went extinct’

‘A: What are the mountains between France & Spain called? N: The Andes. No. The Himalayas. No. The Rockys! ‘

‘Aren’t the Pilgrim Fathers a type of cheese?’

From Tom (2nd year Wildlife Conservation Student): 
The Freezer is too cold’

‘What’s Ice Cream made from?’

‘Route 66? That’s in South Africa isn’t it?’

‘Kabul? Is that in Russia?’

From Adam (2nd year Marine Biology and Coastal Ecology Student)
 ‘It’s been ages since I done bow and arrows’

Adam:  ‘There weren’t Romans around in Jesus time!’